Is it Destiny or Do We Make Our Own Way in Life?

It has come to my attention recently and in quite a rude fashion, that the subject of Destiny vs. Making our own way in life is an extremely volatile subject. Of course, there those who believe blindly in Destiny and then there are those who vehemently deny it even exists. But what about those who are caught in between? Those whose lives are so bad that they are torn. After all, those who are molested at a young age and are scarred for life cannot go through life thinking they brought that on themselves.

It was said that our lives are what we make of them. So that child, who has been so scarred by this traumatic experience, who has to take medications and have therapy, this child grows into an adult having to believe that because they can't get past this experience then they are useless because they didn't have the ability to make something different out of their lives. To me this is wrong on every level.

There are many in our country alone these days who are suffering from our declining economy, losing their livelihoods, their homes, everything they know due to someone else's miscreant behavior, is this destiny or did they create these situations by the decisions they've made in their own lives? Did they ask to lose all these things in their lives? I think not. And should they be made to feel as though it is all their fault because their life went into the shitter? I think not.

Now while one person can come from an adverse background and make something of themselves is wonderful, but to tell others, from their own experience, that life is what you make it and that many people are handed the "shit stick," it's what you do with that "shit stick" that makes all the difference, I think it is wrong.

What about the mother, who is verbally abused by her spouse? She has 3 young children, no job, no money of her own, lives in a town where there is virtually no kind of help for her to get out of this situation. The spouse is now borderline verbally abusing the children and the mother has no where to turn for help except for those people that she's met in a social network. Should we tell her to stop whining, shut up and do something about it? What can she do about it? Didn't she make her bed after all, and now she should just lie in it and shut up? No! No! No!

Yes, we can all believe what we want in our lives. Whether or not someone else agrees with us or not is irrelevant, it's all in the way we handle how we talk to others. Your beliefs are not mine. My beliefs are not yours. Yes, some decisions we make affect the outcomes of our lives, but I will not go and tell someone who has had one bad thing after another happen to them to accept their "shitty stick" in life and do something about it. A person can only suck it up so many times before they break, especially when they've done everything they can think of to toss that "shitty stick" back outside. This is where I believe the Destiny part comes in.

Are some people...dare I say...destined to go through life struggling every day, hoping for a break, doing what they can to make that break happen for them, only to have that hope dashed every time they turn around by circumstances, not under their control, which prevent them from moving forward in their lives and on their paths. Or do they keep picking up the "shitty stick" and plod forward, day after day, working themselves to the bone for just a smidgen of what the "lucky" people have?

I take offense to that because there are some things in life that we just can't control. Do I feel sorry for those who are controlled by what we call Destiny, yes I damn sure do! Why? Because I understand that every time they try to do something, something else will happen to thwart or even destroy everything they've already done. And it seems to happen time after time. Life is hard for these people and it's a struggle every single day to make things happen in their lives. So don't you dare tell me there is no such thing as Destiny and that we make our own way in life. Some people just aren't that strong. Does this make them less of a human being and it's okay to be told to stop whining and shut up already? Absolutely not!

And there's this little thing called, tact. If you want to shove your beliefs down someone else's throat, then it should be done with a little tact. Try helping them first before you put them down in such a way that makes them feel even worse than they already do. Explain to them how it was for you and how you overcame the obstacles and adversity in your life before you tell people that, "hey, you were one of the unlucky ones to get stuck with the "shitty stick," deal with it."

I realize that this maybe off the beaten path of my usual postings, but then again, it really is right up my alley. Recently our family has been suffering some setbacks in our lives. This is nothing new to us or to me personally, as I have been "dealing with the shitty stick" for as long as I can remember in my life, not just as an adult. No matter what we do, we find ourselves falling deeper in debt, losing the simple necessities in life like electricity and gas, and the loss of employment. My faith in a Higher Power has been shaken from time to time, but never as deeply as this. I did not take offense at the things that were said for my own sake, because I know personally that no matter how hard we have been trying to control things in our lives here, we seem to keep finding ourselves taking 1 step forward and 3 steps backwards.

No, I took offense for the woman with the abusive spouse, who has no where to turn with her 3 young children. Did either of us ask for this kind of life? No, I can't imagine anyone who would. Have we done what we can to change the events taking place in our lives, yes. Sometimes, you just can't control these things and yes, people do get the "shitty stick" and just can't get rid of it. Yes, what you do with it is up to you, but when, at every turn, you just find yourself deeper and deeper in the shit, what do you do then? You go and tell yourself to stop whining, shut up and deal with your "shitty stick!"

That is my spiel for today.

Much Luvz, Witchie!